Thursday, July 26, 2012

This call may be recorded for quality assurance...or training purposes

I just ate steak and shrimp. I talk about eating a lot. Because I like food. I also like a tasty beverage (of the alcoholic variety). Poor poor me. Drowning in a pool of my own excess, and imaginary pity. I also like a good cigar. That makes me cool.



So here is something that truly bothers me. Nowadays, if you are the type to read books, then that somehow, albeit even if it may be slightly, makes you an elitist. Why is that the case? For crying out loud, not only is it literally healthier for your brain, but it is also fun. It will engulf you deeper into a world, more so then a book ever can. It needs to be paramount. It needs to be a requirement, like safe sex or drinking a bourbon that costs more than $50. To go off of John Waters, "If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!"

And so here is a nifty little list I made, 10 reasons why reading is important;

1. Books make you smarter

Reading requires more thought process. It's like doing brain push ups. Fun, escapism brain push ups.

2. They make your vocabulary more better

Remember how you learned what something meant as a little one by learning it in a sentence? Imagine that, except with big boy books.

3. Focus and concentration

You remember that girl who wont sleep with you because you didn't remember her cat's name when she had told you several weeks ago, very briefly and in passing? Well, reading improves your ability to pay attention. Yes, even whilst drunk.

4. Anywhere!

It's like a nook, except less likely to make your eyes explode. Also, if you travel with a fancy leather bound, that high class lady/gentleman is more likely to stir your cocktail for you...(euphemism for sex).

5. Entertainment on a budget

Seen a movie in the theaters lately? Not only are the prices for the ticket horrendous and the food is even worse, but people throw smoke grenades and shoot up the place nowadays. Buy a $10 paperback and go to town for days.

6. You get better at stuff/your job

Have an interest? Ever had some one tell you about it? Reading causes your brain to absorb more, and makes it easier to retain knowledge that wasn't and will never been explained at a base level.

7. Wisdom of the ages

Several thousand years ago, or even several hundred years ago, do you think they had tutorial videos on youtube? Probably, but it was about breaking sticks with bigger sticks. But unless you plan on breaking a stick with a bigger stick, then you would never be able to obtain the knowledge obtained when less resources were available. Very potent.

8. Takes away stress

Reading, because it does require more of a thought process, can and will encompass and steal away your mind a lot easier than just about anything else. Even a movie. I hate to say it, but even a beer.

9. No guilt

If you spend time to be able to enjoy your reading a book, and time slips by, it's because you were reading a book. I mean, cmon. It's a book. It's not "Oh shit! I'm late for work because I was blasting smack in the bathroom!." Or "I forgot to pick the kids up from school because I was sleeping with your fine-ass sister." It's just a book.


10. It really is better than the movie.

Unless the movie is three parter with each part being forty-six fucking hours long, it will never, ever cover all the detail. And I don't mean descriptions of some asshole walking down the hallway. I am referring to all the extra environment, emotion, throat slits and sex scenes that won't be included because every movie has a required time frame. That is how it will always be. So unless you read, you really are missing out. And no using movies that hadn't been books as an example. Because not only would it be an invalid argument, but the book, honestly, would have been better. So to those who would try to say "Avatar"...




Don't get it? Read a book.


Tah tah.


Today's playlist



Mr. Scruff - Music Takes Me Up
The Beatles - I Want You (She's So Heavy)
Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body
A Perfect Circle - Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums
Alice in Chains - Junkhead


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